.Music.

"But Darling, it's so sweet/You think you know how crazy/how crazy I am.
You say you don't spook easy, you won't go/but I know/And I pray that you will."
-Fiona Apple - Fast As You Can

You know, I love music. There are songs I love more than some people I know. There are genres I love more than some family members. So on and so forth. I get in moods where I would rather listen to music than do anything else.

Today was one of those days.

That's not to say I can't do anything besides listen to music. I'm perfectly capable of walking and chewing gum as well, thank you very much. Alas, its more that... sometimes I just want to put on my headphones, lay back, stare at the ceiling, and lose myself in percussion, strings and brass.

But so yeah, I can hear it now. "None of this is FFXI related, Calzy, wtf man!"

Incorrect.

I... play differently depending on the mood I'm in. I'm sure everyone does. But my mood and the music I'm listening to are intrinsically linked. Now, to ask which controls the other is a chicken-egg situation, and I try not to wonder too much beyond noticing times where one obviously causes the other. For the most part, though, unless I need to hear something specific, I put my iTunes on shuffle and just let it play. I'll skip songs til I get something that I'd like to hear, but usually I just let randomness decide what I hear. However, I've been flipping through my nearly two thousand song library of music since I woke up, trying to find something to speak to my mood.

Today was just one of them days.

I'm... sick. Very sick. I'm not as sure why as I would like to be, but I'm not doing great. And I would like to be doing great. But... most everyone would.

This last week has been... interesting. I suppose it started last Thursday. Normal enough day, I watched some SVU, listened to some music, stared blankly at my latest story and watched as the words refused to write themselves, as they tend to do. Then I went to sleep. I woke up at around two in the morning. I knew that without checking my clock, because years of not wearing a watch tends to force your body to notice this shit. So, I started playing around, put in a video game to pass the time until the rest of the world woke up.

My stomach growled.

Considering I remembered eating before I went to sleep, I was a bit confused, but I checked the clock on my computer to see what time it was. It was 4.11am.

On Saturday.

I lost last Friday. Just, lost it. Rewind to the last few days, and my current state of fuckedupedness, lol. I was up for two days straight. I saw Monday become Tuesday, and Tuesday become Wednesday. Was up trying to finish this story I've been working on, since I'm showing it to some people to see what they think so I can get it cleaned up and polished before I submit it. I went to sleep pretty early on Wednesday, as my body started shutting down. I hadn't eaten anything Monday night, all of Tuesday, and the time on Wednesday that I was awake.

Sixteen hours and twenty-three minutes later, I'm awake.

Know what I love about good music? It's timeless.

You can sleep away a whole day, or several years. Good music will always been good music.

So, back to FFXI.

After sleeping most of the day, I woke up and decided I needed to do... something. Went and helped Jaci with Nyzul, and the damned Denali body dropped, which was great. Was listening to Parliament Funkadelic - Flashlight when Hydra died, which was nice and upbeat. Glad FFXI doesn't have voice support, don't think the Nyzul party needed to hear me singing "Everybody's got a little light/UNDER THE SUN!/UNDER THE SUN!/UNDER THE SUUUUN!" ...yeah.

I like to help people get stuff they have difficulty getting. Dunno. Suppose its just feeling a part of someone's joy. I suppose I miss the feeling of striving for something the just keeps slipping out of reach, and that overwhelming feeling of accomplishment when its finally obtained. At least as far as the game goes. I know damned well I'll be busting out my old Adidas Shelltoes and tracksuit and tossing on Afrika Baambataa - Planet Rock and going back to break-dancing once I finish this story of mine and get it published.

Meh.

I woke up and sneezed while I was getting out of bed and fell on the floor. I blame too much sleep.

People came in the house while I was asleep and came in my room. People I didn't know. They were talking and standing near me again. Weird feeling, to know someone is near you even when you're asleep. Its something I've always had though. I don't like people being near me while I'm sleeping, I'm even wary of friends of mine. Sleep isn't restful when your body is tensed up, aware of shit around you.

To the people who decided to come in my room: Fuck you very much.
Assholes.

I planned to show my gear and introduce myself to people who might not know me, but... meh. Apparently I had something on my mind to get out, so... I've done that! Gear and pictures and shit later.

tl;dr: Love your music. Whatever it is. You never know how much it affects your life until everything's silent.

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iCalz -- Songs Played While Writing
Fiona Apple - Fast As You Can
J. Cole - Dreams (ft. Brandon Hines)
Luther Vandross - A House is Not A Home
Jadakiss - Things I've Been Through
Doobie Brothers - What A Fool Believes

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